It's a PhD. Life

It appears that I’m not the most regular blogger in the world. Still, I am ready and willing to do another post now. Before I say a few words about where I’m up to with the PhD I would just like to comment on #phdchat. This is a twitter feed where PhD students from all over the globe can chat about their research and about their successes and failures. It’s a brilliant support actually. The other week I tweeted about critical realism (sad I know), but I got a brilliant response and have actually used the resources provided to help me with a nasty epistemology presentation and essay. On a Wednesday evening there is a live chat based on a topic voted for by us and it is a mixture of very useful and plain supportive. So if like me you ‘sort of’ dip into IT, try this.

My PhD is changing. I know that this is expected and is a ‘good’ thing, but I am already a bit concerned that I am loosing focus. I’m a bit obsessed with internships and graduate schemes and their effect on power relations/conflict within organisations. I’m chomping on the bit to read stuff on this but actually do anything till I am done with my coursework. I have 4 rather large pieces of work to do by the end of January, so I sort of feel that my own work is at a standstill till that’s finished.

Still on a positive note..I have kept up with everyone and my imposter syndrome is slowly abating. I’m lacking in confidence but think that by the year end I should be more focused and getting the hang of it all a bit more.

I think I’ll clear up the room where I work in preparation for my new years resolution: to be  vegetarian (and a more organised) researcher.

Since I last wrote quite a lot has happened. Since there is no way however of remembering it all I will instead focus on today.

Well I’ll start by giving myself a huge pat on the back for surviving the first month or so of my PhD! I have made some nice friends at uni and settled down (a bit) into what will be my new life over the next four years.

As a result of meetings with my supervisors I have realised that I need a basic structure for my reading now, rather than just grabbing at stuff that is ‘sort of’ related to my topic area. In other words, I need to calm right down. Luckily, I have been set a small lit review task – 2000 or so words to check that I know how to reference and write a bit mainly. So, I chose a sub-area “careers” and have started to look at different career-focused literature. I mainly did this on the train there and back from London last weekend. Luckily, on the way I got a free upgrade to first class as my seat had been double booked. Being confined to a train carriage sort of helped me get on with it. As a consequence, my study room at home needs to be on tracks, hurtling through the beautiful autumnal countryside, with free tea, crisps and biscuits. Is that such a lot to ask for?

Anyway, today I have written 600 words (yey me) that I know have slim chances of ever making it anywhere past my supervisors desk but at least its a start. And I think it’s actually ok. I have been wondering as I sit on my office chair how I am going to feel when it gets criticised and I find out it’s far from ok – apparently this is  inevitable.

I also want to mention some IT stuff. (You know I’m not very good at this)

Firstly, twitter. twitter is great if used wisely. An example of this is the set of women I have started following through #phdchat. All these women are at some stage of doctoral studies and have to therefore do things like write 600 words on a Sunday, and it’s good to know that they are there. I don’t feel so isolated. Actually, one of them said she’s read this blog which is great since I didn’t think more than one person plus my partner Mark (happy birthday for last Thursday Mark) had read it.

My other bit of IT glory comes with Zotero research management software. I went to a demo of this at uni on Wednesday and it blew my primitive mind! You can click on virtually anything and import it…..It’s also free……It lives in Firefox also. Love it!

So now I’m going to stop and do more of this mini lit review in the morning when all the kids have gone to school. Half term has ended. Hurrah!

If you have read this and like it, please let me know x

Well now Flora. Since you ask, (my first comment – thanks Flora) I will tell you that it has been a very interesting couple of weeks. A real mixture of emotions. Scared, overwhelmed, intrigued, excited…..

I am lucky enough to be a member of a doctoral programme which has a rigorous training programme at the start. I have to attend lectures on core modules such as Epistemology and attend a number of workshops on research methods, which I have selected. At first I was unsure whether this was a good thing, and differed quite considerably from the independent type of study one would expect at PhD level. But structured programmes appeal to me. As a mature student with caring responsibilities I can easily get sidetracked, so this inbuilt structure is perfect for me.

So, the first week was quite a long induction process and I got to know mainly what was expected of me this year. Nothing mind-blowing really. There were a few members of staff who said things like ‘if your research isn’t the last thing you think about when you go to bed, and the first thing upon waking,’ if, ‘you think you can get away with working only 5 days a week’ yada yada then you shouldn’t be doing a PhD….. This made me feel a bit nauseous one afternoon whilst in Tesco. I literally charged around the aisles throwing food liked by my children into the trolley. (Just give them what makes them happy and I can leg it through some literature with no complaints)

Obviously this shopping methodology is not sustainable, so after a chat with my lovely supervisor, I realised that I should be much more selective about who and what I listened to. I made a concerted decision to be more positive and no longer feel sick with anticipation. My supervisor and I talked generally about what literature I had been reading over the summer and she thought that I was making good progress with that. (One brownie point there)

By the way, some of the topics and research areas of my fellow students were a bit frightening too. I didn’t actually understand some of them at all. Still, I only really need to understand my own area so again, I decided to not let the fact that these students appeared already to be experts in their specialisms to intimidate me either.

So far I have been to epistemology & literature review lectures. I had to do a presentation with 3 other students yesterday to the other PhDs……(trust me to be in the first group presenting – typical) I worked pretty damn hard on that all week and it turned out really well actually. I was speaking about Whitleys ‘fragmented adhocracy’ and management science as a ‘distinct repetitional organisation’. Yes, yes, yes. I know that sounds like a foreign language. It did for me too. Still I read my readings about a zillion times and made notes, then notes on my notes and again till I had little cards with bullet points and a some powerpoint slides. And now I understand it! Not sure how useful this will be, but I’m told by 2nd/3rd years that it suddenly all falls into place….eventually.

I need to go now and wake up one of my idle teenage children, but may write more tomorrow about the sort of areas I have been looking at for my own research.

Ah well. The time has come to get serious, knuckle down and become a postgrad swot.

Actually, I have been doing quite a lot of reading and note taking over the summer, and have discovered two things. Firstly, there is a woman who has already undertaken a very similar type of research project to mine. She has looked at employment outcomes for mature students, but crucially, not focusing on the gender aspect. The research doesn’t really delve into the reasons for any disadvantage at entry point, but says that although it takes mature students longer to get into work, that after about 15 years (I think that’s quite a long time) the pay levels out eventually to be equal to that of early graduates. Early graduates are people who have graduated at expected transition time.

This raises interesting points for me. What has been going on at recruitment stage? The researcher suggests that one of the reasons for the apparent disadvantage is (for both sexes) that mature students can be regarded as failures by employers. Just by virtue of the fact that they are mature at the time of their studies. Also, there is no mention of aesthetics, possibly because this work isn’t gender focused, but I am curious about this aspect: Is a graduate pert, smooth-skinned and bleached teeth eager?

Anyway, the other thing that is bothering me is the fact that I can’t touch type. I’ve been typing countless essays and dissertations now for years but still can’t type without staring at the keys. My boyfriend can do this annoyingly well and I am jealous. So, I’m in the middle of an internet (free) course to learn. This is a good skill to have in this day and age, and I’m convinced that all children should be taught this at school.

Lastly, and most importantly for this blog, my induction starts on the 21st of this month, so all this preamble should come to an end and the real work should commence. I’m excited and also a bit worried about what is involved. Will I managed to stay the course?

I know I said I wouldn’t say too much at this stage, but something just fell into my lap.

My friend is 43 I think and 2 years ago he graduated with an MBA from a very prestigious UK institution. (The course cost him £27k). Even with previous experience he has not secured any employment since graduating. I know that I am sticking to female gender disadvantage, but it’s worth noting the extent and and possibility of organisationally imposed age norms causing obstacles for male as well as female graduates.

One of the recent chapters  I have read in Women & Employment ironically (considering the book title) does point to the assumption that gender disadvantage discourse is unfairly disproportionate and research should also focus on male disadvantage. Hmmm.

Well, I’m pleased with my strategy of starting my core reading prior to kick off. I’ve already sussed out some of the fundamental issues which I’m sure will be beneficial come Sep/Oct.

I will only be adding a few bits and pieces till then, as my blog is about my PhD. life, and I’m currently at the ‘in utero’ stage. Will let you know if anything else happens (actually need to find out what the terms and conditions of my studentship are), and I may take some academic literature to Spain on holiday, (I get bored after two days). Won’t take any reading to Green Man Festival at the end of August though! Chances are it will be a soggy affair like last year, and too many friends/bands/food outlets to be bored.

Bye for now.

Well I’ve received lots of spam recently from people who sell viagra and slimming people who claim to be interested in my blog. I’d say both of the above aren’t all that bothered about gender disadvantage at work.

I’ve been reading about gender sociological theory and other gender-based literature and in particular I am starting to understand more about gender mainstreaming in a comparative way. So this is on a wider level, a more macro picture than I will be researching. But I think it’s important to get to grips with and understand as much as possible about the wider situation, before honing in on my particular area of interest. Comparisons of economic, welfare and social justice across OECD countries provide useful models, but the UK seems to be a real mixture of strong and poor on the gender performance indicating factors. This sort of sounds like a weak performance all told. Will carry on the reading.

Well, I am one of those people who like to get straight on with something (usually without thinking too much about the  consequences of doing so). So, true to form I have started reading…….Following my first PhD. meeting with my supervisor (both lovely and helpful), I have managed to find a starting point for my research. I am going to swap my usual ‘book for the beach’ this summer with gender based literature, to hopefully give me a deeper understanding than I currently possess (I have Msc. knowledge) about gender inequality. I think that this literature will form the foundations for my studies and will give me the confidence and basic knowledge which I will need to build upon. This may be too enthusiastic for other students to stomach but it’s just the way I do things and should save me time in the long run.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I have three teenage kids to juggle, and my partner Mark has two more (I can handle this and a PhD! Positive thoughts always), which has helped me structure a rather disciplined but totally necessary regime of work that goes something like this…..If there’s something to do, just do it as soon as possible. (Before anyone comes home)

Whilst I’m on domestics, I have, in preparation for my forthcoming course, fashioned a study in our house. It’s a place where I can store my PhD. stuff so that it doesn’t all get covered in pasta sauce and vimto. (Let’s see how long that lasts) It feels a bit like preparing a nursery when you’re having a baby. Waiting with anticipation for the birth start, knowing that I don’t really know what I’m doing but will ‘pick it up’ as I go along.

Anyway, I noticed yesterday that someone on jobs.ac.uk. is contributing to a qualitative degree blog, that blogger having noticed that the existing contributor is doing a, you guessed it, science based PhD. Anyway, I’m not fearful of the competition….mine will be better.

Off to meet my friend for lunch and then this afternoon to strip wallpaper off our toilet walls. A girl’s got to have some fun after all. Next time I’ll tell you a bit about life course transitions. Bet you’re looking forward to that aren’t you?

There has been extensive research into the inequalities faced by women in employment. In recent years there has been an emphasis on research that not only views work from this gendered perspective, but intersects that use of feminine sociological theory with other characteristics, such as class or ethnicity. The idea is that intersecting these characteristics, gives a deeper and clearer view of the experiences of different types of women, and the varying degrees and types of inequalities they face in employment.

The particular characteristic that interests me is age. Most people presume that age discrimination means the type that concerns older people, nearing the end of their working life. However, my age group of interest is one that I am more familiar with.

The mature female student is a phenomenon that is on the increase. Widening participation in Higher Education, changing social habits and supportive government policy mean that more of these women are attempting to re-enter the labour market as graduates.

My concern is that regardless of the aspirations of these women and allegedly supportive structures in society, organisations still view graduates in a traditional way. Expecting a young, 21 year old blank canvas upon which to splatter their cultural daubings, they send their successful recruits on a journey of mobile flexibility, from branch to branch, whilst paying a trainee wage, unsuitable to those with established social ties.

I suggest that it is age norms applied by first society and then by organisations, following norms associated with expected life course transition stages that causes obstacles to these women.

At the age of 42, I am old enough to know what I don’t know. I am a novice at two things that will become central to my life over the next four years. Doctoral degrees and blogging.

I expect to learn both things at the same time, so that in four years or so, this page will be far more sophisticated, with feeds, slugs and other such techno garb. I will also have become trained in all things research and academic and will hopefully be in possession of a thesis.

Like many other postgraduate students I am apprehensive about the process of doing a PhD (it’s such a long and expensive process, isn’t it?) and have surfed the web in anticipation of my course of study for clues/tweets/blogs.

My first disappointment was the dearth of information about doing a PhD from a purely qualitative perspective. So if not just to agitate the paradigm war debate in an innovative way, I intend to blog about the process of my research and its value.

I’ve heard the horror stories, but know that it’s always those experiences which make good press. So, casting them aside, I’ll start in the run up to my studies by charting my expectations and feelings………I’ll also outline my area of interest (here’s a clue….it’s about work, age & gender) Watch this space!